My Advice for the Day

Preface:

I have always dreamed of attending Burning Man, and remember me and Mychel discussing it together when she sent me a link to a video of a woman chronicling her first experience there (which you can view here if you're interested). I remember watching the video and being so impressed by this young woman's glow. Her aura, the way she carries herself, and even the way she speaks, she just seemed to radiate love and positivity. She seemed to have all of those things that I have to work so hard to remind myself to practice each day coming so naturally to her.
I remember Mychel and I making it a goal of ours to work to become that...glowy. At the time of making the goal I remember viewing reaching that point of self love, of positivity, of enlightenment...as a destination rather than a daily process. I thought I could just reach this state and that I could then stay there. That there wouldn't be any more days of looking in the mirror and feeling nothing but hatred for my body or my appearance. There wouldn't be moments of frustration where I react to someone out of anger, instead of approaching situations from a place more reflective of my true character. There wouldn't be times of letting my ego get in the way of progress. And while it would be amazing if that were all true; that you could practice yoga enough times, or read enough books, watch enough philosophical videos or pray or whatever your form of showing love to yourself is, enough, and then poof! You would wake up and all the negativity and problematic thought patterns and bad habits would be banished from your soul...it unfortunately, is not.
Reaching that point of being glowy, whatever it may mean to you, is a process. The destination does not actually exist, and it is only the journey that matters. You will have days that you will fall off the wagon. And maybe you'll be off for weeks, or months but what matters is that you will eventually get back on, and you will forgive yourself and you will continue growing. And with each fall it gets easier and easier to pick yourself back up because you've been practicing that forgiveness and grace. Take, for example, the post I wrote a few days back about my fall of the wagon in relation to my creative outlets (which you can read here if you desire to refresh your memory) in which I described picking myself up, and getting back at it, yet just yesterday I fell off the wagon yet again. I was trying to paint a seascape at sunset and it turned out genuinely awful. Instead of reminding myself that I was painting for fun and because I love it rather than to achieve a certain outcome, I allowed myself to become frustrated. I tossed out the canvas and vowed that I was going to get rid of all my paints. I grasped onto the fact that I had fallen and grasped onto those negative emotions and allowed them to overcome me temporarily. Yet later that same day, I set out my supplies and painted flowers onto a gift bag for Kyle's mother's birthday, and it turned out lovely. What's important isn't that I fell back off the wagon, it's that I wasted no time in picking myself up. I allowed myself to feel those frustrated feelings, but I let them come and go without attachment.

The Advice:

So my advice for the day is to look at those goals as processes, and to be patient with yourselves. You're trying to get more control over your emotions, and maybe there have been a lot of ups and downs, and life is starting to feel a little uncomfortable. Perhaps you don't prefer your life to feel like a roller coaster at a theme park. But I urge you all to remember that there is a difference between being in control of your emotions and being wise to them, and being closed off, which you don't want to be closed off because bottling your emotions can have such a negative effect on you. Feel your emotions without attachment--even the negative ones. When you fall off the wagon, don't attach too much importance to the fact that you have stumbled, but rather take the lessons you can. Don't be afraid to let go of things that aren't conducive to the lifestyle you're striving to live. Remember to only hold on to things that are constructive and that help you be the best version of yourself--with that comes not holding on to failures. Don't dwell on your stumblings. Don't hold on to things that are toxic. If you find something that is making you feel less YOU- don't be afraid to let it go, because ridding yourself of those tiny distractions will make it increasingly easier to stay on the wagon for longer, and easier to pick yourself back up when you do happen to fall.
You got this!